Bible Rewrites...A-Gain!

In an ever-constant attempt to further modernize,

rewrite, and popularize the horrible old tome,

new publishers are putting a new spin on the

fables, new and old, to better reach a younger

and...well, here's a snippet of their efforts.

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"Ooh, I done TOLD y'all not to come

up in here with all that loud carrying-on

and nastiness!

Get ta stepping, I say!

You ain't gots to go home, but ya

got to get the hell up outta here!"

***

"Grrrrlll, pleez!
You so tired!
You so old!

Why you don't gets you a new game?
This one all played out.

You a played out trick.

I wish somebody would crucify me...

it'd be less painful than

puttin' up wit' yo' bizness!"

***