Saturday, September 29, 2012

The Gospel According to Rednecks

"Sho'nuff I was made in Baby Jay-Zuss' image.
He ugly as sin, crazy, and stupid-as-hell, too!"
(Excerpts from the Redneck Bible translation)
"I can whore around and be a drunken slob,
and still be holier-than-thou about anyone else's
shortcomings. Don't you know a 'double standard'
is twice as good?" - Randy-Bob Bluballz

"I'd rather put on airs and put on a fancy dress
for church than put on a compassionate face. I
need my daily dose of gossip no matter how many
people it hurts or how many lives it destroys."
   - Fancy Nancy Sweets

"It's my job to destroy homosexuals and whores
and keep the nation pure from their deviancy. I just
need my computer sites blocked and the magazines
hidden under my bed to help me stay focused on my
godly work." - Clevus Dipshit

"God loves the world, and especially me and all my
friends and neighbors. But I'm lost as to why God
has saddled us with the burden of the Blacks, the
Mexicans, the Jews, and the Indians that are taking
over my precious town."  - Scary Larry Bred-In

"Whitey, please! Hey, y'all...he trying to drown my ass!"
"I'm worried about what everybody else in town
is doing wrong, and I sing for Jesus and the Lord every
week in church. I'm also the deacon. I know my daughter
didn't mind what we did together, but I sure don't want
anyone else to find out about it." - Buford Leroy Asslickre

"I talk about God and church and family and morals
and values and 'being a good Christian' all day and night.
But I cuss that bitch wife of mine out in a heartbeat
'cause she needs to get straightened out. Once in a while,
she needs a slap, too. I pray God gets her head right
eventually."  - Trolly Dikhedd

"I know the Lord is with me as I keep me and mine safe
from the evils of this world. I got enough ammunition,
weapons, and stores with me to last long enough to do
some real damage. Anybody looks at me wrong or has a
bad word for my family, I'll show them the wrath of the
Lord!" - Roscoe Fanatica



Friday, September 28, 2012

Don't Twist It

It's not just a suggestion.

And obliterating the line isn't
a legitimate goal for fanatics, no
matter how devoted they are to it.

Help keep the world from
becoming as fucked up as the addle-brained
would like it to be;


Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Oh..Forgot about that little tidbit.

Another grand rationale for utilizing the Bible
as a source for modern morality.

'nuff said.

Good for those that funded this, and
daring to make a difference!


The New Southern Shackles

In the South, if you are not part of the iconic, invasive,
Bible-breathing hive-unit, married to the idea of proselytizing
and spitting out scripture, alternately condemning and kissing ass,
you are essentially marked by the 'sign of the beast.'

It's like being behind enemy lines in a despicable military
war, where you have to watch how heavily you breathe, and
only move at night, lest you be spotted and ended, mercilessly.

You don't know which of your friends and neighbors--
or even family members--are a part of the resistance,
and all hope seems lost. One wrong move can ruin
your standing and separate you from your protection,
your favor, your resources.
The stakes are high, you can trust no one, and there's
only a tightly-clenched-teeth facade of normal living
while just under the surface persists danger, bile, hate,
and seething.

The religious nut is a dire sort, all pretense and posturing,
never truly living (for fear of sex and independence taking
over, or, more importantly, being observed.) Yet they are
duly entrenched in the midst of others' lives, self-important
savers of men, meddling in matters large and small, without

The churches rule with a seemingly-subtle iron hand, engaging
in lies, child abuse, gossip, intimidation, and all manner of false
representations in order to maintain their grip.

These lies are so thoroughly, fearfully, inextricably mixed within
the DNA along with their compatriots obedience, shame,
self-consciousness, repression, blind adherence to militarism,
wife-beating, consumerism, poor-eating habits, isolation, myopia,
xenophobia, and so on.

To find freedom within is an individual achievement which
has to be embraced and highlighted, even if occasionally
hidden away.  The idea of extracting the region from their
psychotic addiction to cults is a pipe dream. The hold is too
great, the history too long held, the extremism too widespread.

There are invisible shackles, and the cacophony of voices
decrying their existence doesn't lessen their impact in
the least. The insidiousness is the public pretense
that they do not exist, while people lay burdened with
their weight on a daily basis.

Florida Storm Warning

As a Florida cracker, I stay on top
of what's going on in my home state,
and this upcoming election has a
second important component for Floridians.

For more information on the misrepresented
Amendment 8 and its attempt to further
eliminate the separation between church and state,
go to:


Friday, September 7, 2012

Separation of Church and State Watch: Pat Robertson

I simply can't recall the last time I sensed such
dignity, righteousness, and sincerity in the form of one man!
(Yeah, right!)

Pat Robertson and his ilk-- the out-of-touch,
old-school Bible-thumping nut job preachers,
heading up their billion dollar Industry (posing
as religion, education, and salvation)--would be
completely irrelevant and laughable
if not for one small problem;

People are still moved to action and influenced
by his insane commentary all the time.

Right now, on CBN programs, they are
losing their shit trying to commit American minds
to the concept that Obama is this demon-possessed,
traitorous, Anti-Christ figure who means to drag us all
into the depths of ruin, and, if we all LOVVVVVE Jesus, we
better go and vote against him in November.
And donate money. Don't forget to donate money.

Quick aside; if these freaks and fanatics believe
that the end times are inevitable, and in fact meant
to occur, as a lead-in to their 'maker' doing a come-back tour....
then whyyyyy exactly (???) are they so opposed to the
man they see as the downfall of western Civilization?

(And to be fair, we really don't need much of a kick-start
to reach a complete downfall; our societal meltdown
has been in free fall for decades. Our reign is, thankfully,
nearly over!)

But whether it's blaming tornadoes and hurricanes on
the homosexuals (again!) or bilking little old poor
people out of their life savings, bashing on the liberal
black guy running the country or fighting to keep
children abused and indoctrinated, these schleps are
busy as Hell. (Rightfully so, since they flew straight
out of Satan's ass, surely.)

I wonder, when me and my fellow homos have time
to even 'commit sin' on a personal level, what with us
busy destroying New Orleans (twice,) causing planes
to fly into the Twin Towers, realizing the destruction
of the traditional family, and, of course, shoving our
agenda down America's throat in the Network Fall lineup!

(Yes, it sounds insane to a thinking person;
the problem is that Robertson is a terrorist who
takes advantage of the ignorance of his flock,
who believve him to be genuine... and a conduit
to this mystical law-giver in the sky.)

Keep up to date on the less-than-jovial horseshit
of these nutters at a great website, below:

Right Wing Watch