Translating Bullshit

Featuring another episode of "What's the difference
between what a 'Christian says and what they really do?"
sponsored by Sodium Pentothal.

*What "Turn the other cheek" and "Let bygones be
bygones" and "Be the bigger man" really means is;

"Let's have two sets of standards, and all the folks
who are dark and dirty and poor and different and
opposite me (the shrieking, posturing, 'moralistic'
Christian) should go to jail still. And all similar people
in jail already should stay.

And silly white collar crime like tax fraud or reefer
possession or other ridiculous non-victim infractions
are still criminal because they mess with my morals
and sensibilities. There is no reform for them. There
is no leniency for them. There is no compassion for them.

However....

Me and my friends and family who are all the same, 
and regularly excuse our own particular brand of law
stretching and breaking, and have reasons for our actions
which we can justify more easily since we see them mirrored
in one another (and also have this great veil of secrecy
and 'honor' that we all tacitly agree to--and even take
pride in and laugh about,) well, we excuse ourselves via
self-appointed authority and we don't feel the need to be
subjected to arbitrary laws.

For us, full pardons and leniency should be bestowed, because
as self-proclaimed 'people of god' we are superior.

And anything which is perceived as illegal but which assists
the furthering of the church's message (such as paying off
victims of child rape, covering up child rape, ignoring child
rape, failure to prosecute child rapists, embezzlement,
laundering funds, bilking the elderly on false promises,
and so on) shall be considered divine will, and not subject
to any laws.

Rule of law is uneven and unfair and we avoid being
caught by its indifference at every turn, because it's
different for us. We don't agree with the government
and its practices, unless we're suckling privilege and
preferential treatment and evasion of taxes from its teet.

If others aren't smart enough to get away with it like us,
sucks to be them."